Local Laundromat

2010-05-24T11:54:00.002+08:00

I sit here, having barely two weeks before my SAT exams, and fresh out from two weeks without a practice session lasting longer than 30 minutes. I am positively sick and tired from having to force myself to scribble answers that when marked with a cross, inspire determination at a cost: the rudimentary fact that I am not any where close to achieving the Golden 2100 and above for my SAT results. This ought to bother me; that I'm not as smart on paper as the Ivies with their tall top hats and noses in the air; as smart as the top-anything for whichever university. But lo and behold! Here I am, smiling like an idiot- feeling as happy as a clam- mud clogged in my sorry eyes that can't seem to shed a tear from my futile attempts. Some say that I am merely wallowing in the cold sand of my self pity, but I say to heck with it- try as I may and fail as I may in achieving the perfect score- I will promise that I do my best and be proud of whatever outcome I reap from this experience.

2010-01-03T20:42:00.002+08:00

We're into the oh-so-futuristic sounding 2010 where people once thought we would've have technology on par with the Jetsons, but no: we're still depleting fossil fuel resources; still waiting for a railway network denser than the New York subway, and most of our cars don't fly, let alone run on clean energy. Sorry, correction- none of our cars can fly.

This is the Jetsons far from being realised. The world still spins on it's same ol' axis. The world won't end in 2012. The world is big and scary. Still.
But really, what I'm getting at is that nothing has changed too drastically if we think about it. After all, fines from the library are constantly being chalked up (see? nothing's changed) which reminds me- I have to get my book in by the 5th. Ack. Don't you just hate the new ruling which bars you from borrowing any library materials so long as you harbour a cent that you owe?

Pardon the conscientious and punctual when it comes to returning library materials, but we common folk tend to sit rather comfortably on the fact that we can hold back a couple of dollars due as we continue our borrowing business. In fact, we love it because it gives you a cheap thrill getting away with that 3-something you owe. Bad news for the NLB though- multiply that by a million borrowers and you're in for some major debt that could fund Epsilon infanticide.

Alright, I'm just kidding. I'm not evil and besides, we are a politically correct society- we accept everyone of all races and religion, level of intellect, talent, looks, culture or manners. Epsilon or no epsilon, we are indeed such accepting people -Stepford Smile-

But okay, moving on to more relevant topics, let's talk about New Year resolutions since we simply got to or else something would be amiss. For convention's sake anyway, just as how during Christmas, you gotta have presents and weight gain. Convention's sake, yeah? I pledge to... not sleep after 12.30 am because for the past week or so, I haven't been sleeping early and although I get my eight hours, I still feel as if some part of myself would just fall apart just based on the fact that my eight hours starts after midnight!

Strange yes, but don't judge me.

Anyway, a happy 2010 to all the readers of the Local Laundromat (which is probably close to zero, considering the fact that I've hardly been updating) But that will hopefully change since writing more is another of my resolutions! Yes, another one.

2009-11-14T08:07:00.003+08:00

The mysterious case of the disappearing cash-
Two weeks from payday, a poor young man finds his account magically drained, devoid of any trace of evidence except from those dreaded words on the screen of the ATM machine- "The amount exceeds your available balance". The ATM is either your best friend or worst enemy. It tells you if you're a rich bitch or a sad sorry penniless loser who doesn't know how to save money.

No, don't call Sherlock- he'd be too busy investigating something more worth his time like dead dames in English countryside manors. He couldn't be bothered if your money is missing , and neither could anyone else. -Right, you may insert a sad pouty face here if you wish-
It's a classic scenario: how after two weeks from payday, your money seems to have gone, and it leaves you wondering if it's the fault of the ATM machine. Or if you've really been that much of an irresponsible spender.

Or how when you have $19.99 in your account and the machine only dispenses a minimum of $20. Oh! Or how the machine only gives out $50 notes and you're sadly left with less than that inside your account.

Must learn to save. Grr...

2009-11-14T00:30:00.002+08:00

One dacquoise. Some hokkien mee. At 30 minutes past midnight.
This is another Bridget Jones's Diary.

This goes out to everyone who stands in the bathroom stark naked looking in the mirror, wondering how you could shed a few pounds or be more toned in certain parts of your bodies, squeezing so hard to make your abdomen magically dissect into neat little pieces of six (or eight), when two would not even appear.

When sometimes you wish that pecs could be as easy as a breast implant.
When sometimes you wish that a few centimetres would do you good.

Well it's all passe because it's a feeling that we've thought of a time too many.

2009-11-08T21:22:00.002+08:00

It's true that this blog has been collecting dust (And i bet you're thinking how many times I've used the phrase 'collecting dust' already as it is) Add another 2 to your 'collecting dust' counter. Three.
It's also true that I am utterly tired of my blogskin since it has a text window width of an Asian virgin. Yeah, my blog habits have been clamped up and tightly ungenerous.

So in light of such a circumstance, I have decided to let the creative juices flow liberally out of this open window of inspiration. The metaphorical va-jay-jay if you would call it that- the lovely grey matter- the brain. If all that didn't make much sense, then nevermind. This blog was never meant to be completely understandable anyway. This is a random article that you read for your pleasure, or temporary appeasement from your boredom if you'd prefer to see it that way.

This evening, I have decided to show you a violent clip from one of the video game previews I chanced upon while browsing reviews for any Wii titles which I may be interested in, because well... you know, my birthday is coming up and I might get a Wii game to pamper myself

PS: If you wanna get something for my birthday, vouchers from clothing lines, beauty products, make up brushes, wii games, board games or anything hand made are greatly appreciated. Wow that was blunt.

Moral of the story:

All that is Greek ends in tragedy.
And Greek violence is bad for mental health.

2009-09-21T16:18:00.002+08:00

I didn't go out this entire weekend, and instead I embraced tele-vision.

Expect more snacking if you choose to do so, because telly is a smothering bastard who'll invite the chocs and sweets to come rolling in.
Not before long, you'll also realise that such a sedentary lifestyle will cause you to grow rolls on your tummy. Yeast powder in your gut.
Unless you want to become a fluffy poofy jiggly jongle, indulge in your basic aerobic exercises which I will be involved in within the next 20 minutes.

I know I like to procrastinate. Procrastination is my gigolo prostitute.
And I fit greasy dollar bills into his Elastic Versace underwear.

2009-09-09T20:10:00.003+08:00

Well... In the words of Britney Spears' Break The Ice:

It's been a while
And I know I shouldn't have kept you waiting.
But I'm here now.

Gee, what a cheesy start to a new blogpost

2009-08-10T21:49:00.001+08:00

I'm back after a long break.

This time with broken shards of acrylic for a heart.
I didn't want to end it because I knew he was the one.

But I need time.

2009-07-06T18:36:00.002+08:00

We say alot of embarrassing things in our lifetime. But none quite as nonsensical as the voices in our heads. Now now, by no means does that equate to schizophrenia. Hardly anyone seems to entertain these external voices. They call it madness. Perturbed eccentricity. Cuckoo.

For the past few months, I've had a dozen of these ridiculous characters swimming about my mind- swimming in a pool of squelchy blood vessels is quite gross if you'd ask me, but I let them swim anyhow. They have a term for these characters, believe it or not. Everyone has them in fact. They're called your 'gatekeepers' who stifle any form of creativity or optimism and make you a complete worry wart.

Well then, them gatekeepers must have had quite a party in my head I suppose.

But the party's over I'm afraid.
No. I shouldn't be afraid.
The party's over, laconically speaking. Fin.

And I've added yet another count to the list of embarrassing things spoken in my lifetime.

2009-07-05T20:03:00.002+08:00

On Wednesday morning, it is said that my life will change. For the better of course- I only condone happy endings. Then again, should the bastards ruin that for me, that will be another story. Another story for another time.

This will be a great week- I'm expecting it to!

2009-07-03T19:41:00.001+08:00

"Going to Harvard is the only way I'm going to get the love of my life
back!"
-Elle

2009-07-03T18:47:00.002+08:00

I will have flawless skin. 2.8K and rounds of laser beams later.

I will have a perfectly bridged nose. 5K later.

Why are we obsessed with cosmetic procedures.

Michael (Jackson), you should've just spared me a couple of grands out of the hundreds you spent on cosmetic surgery!
And you looked completely fine even without them!
Now that you're a wandering spirit floating up towards heaven (Presumably. I don't suppose counts of alleged child molestation would pull you straight to hell. This is not the Old Testament God. Either way, I believe he was innocent), I wonder if you'll come across my blog post.

And if you do, I just wanna say I was crazy over 'Black or White' when I was 3 or 4!!

2009-07-02T19:45:00.002+08:00

I am back from my period of blogosphere recluse. Good day.

In case you didn't know, I have been living my life as a bipolar, neurotic, semi-dysfunctional worry wart for the past few months, which in any sense has taken a toll on my mental well being... And once again, I over exaggerate.

So, no. I am not losing my mind.

Rather, I have been quite the geek as of late, playing DS games like Pokemon and Harvest Moon. Yeah, go ahead and laugh. Go ahead and tease. Make fun of the fact that I actually have to indulge in Swift's 'Gulliver's Travels' too.

Oh God, I sound so boring and yet I know I'm not!

Okay anyway, I was just walking home from work and pondering on the lyrics of the song "Waking up in Vegas".

Katy keeps singing the line 'Remember what you told me', presumably to her boyfriend in the song, and yet I wonder- what the hell did he tell?? And then you'd wonder if what he told was the chorus- the shutting up and putting money in your mouth bit (Hmm.. quite a disturbing image if I might say so).

Imagine placing those dirty, grimy coins in your mouth. Dirty coins touched by random people who don't wash their hands after they touch their wee wee when they pee pee and things like that. Yeah! All that shit in your mouth.

Such unhygienic lyrics.

And back to the 'remember what you told me' part- if what he told was indeed what was sung during the chorus, wouldn't it be puzzling?? After all, she was the one that's supposed to be speaking (singing. whatever) those words from the chorus. So... I don't know... it all seems rather schizophrenic to me. Do the words from the chorus come from the persona or the persona's boyfriend??

Oh this is all so confusing..

I almost stepped on a dead baby bird while I was walking home.
Or what was left of it anyway..

2009-05-11T15:18:00.001+08:00

I've just finished watching the Curious Case of Benjamin Button, and I think it's one of the saddest shows I've ever watched.

And in the spirit of Robert Frost, I shall say
'Nothing gold can stay'

2009-05-03T17:20:00.000+08:00

All is well, all is well.

Cowboy get well soon

All is well. Really!

2009-04-19T09:14:00.002+08:00

We've got all the time in the world to elope. Really!

Weeks of absence are mere pebbles on our paths which we will kick merrily with a grin on our faces. Okay. Less psychotically, of course.

But yeah. Pebbles. Mere pathetic pebbles.
And who would be afraid of pebbles???

Certainly not us!!

2009-04-16T20:25:00.002+08:00

Eat. Pray. Love =)

I'm lifting it all up into His hands.
Love will see me through

2009-04-14T22:21:00.001+08:00

What a huge relief.
Then again, there are many other things that need to be relieved as well.

However, I shall and am remaining positive (:

2009-04-12T22:33:00.002+08:00

After attending Easter mass, I began to have a really really good feeling of the things to come in the next few weeks. All that anticipational mental clutter I've been having? Screw it. I've got my gut and intuition with me, and it's pointing me in the right direction. That and God of course- what would I do without Him?

And so, I wish all of you a good night.

2009-04-10T22:45:00.002+08:00

Another step, getting brighter.
This coming week could possibly be the week to end all my worries.
My scorpio's intuition forecast a postive outcome.

----

Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight
Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

2009-04-06T21:49:00.003+08:00

Hello there.
First and foremost, I'm really thankful that I've only got 3 days of work this week.
Secondly, I cannot afford travelling to and fro from Jurong on a long term daily basis. Somebody please confirm my relocation as a stay out personnel by the end of this month.

Now if you would excuse me, I've got to fold my #4.

2009-04-05T18:56:00.001+08:00

2009-04-05T09:38:00.004+08:00

Thank you Colin, Sam, Martin and Yixin for giving me the heads up on what happened.
I now have to teach a naive child the basics of street smartness, and behave like a (very) strict parent. Oh the sacrifices I go through, my dears, is no easy feat.

It's funny how someone with 5 distinctions and brilliance of intellect could display such... inadequacies in other forms of intelligences.

Some of you may not agree with my decision to stay on, but I believe there is a greater need to help this person. In good times and in bad as they say.

But on the other hand, to this person.... I hope you learn from your mistake. Believe me, you give me no choice but to address this problem of yours in a harsh way. You may not like it, but I don't care.

To Jeremy, you ought to be truly ashamed for the heinous deed of yours, sexually taking advantage of someone else.
You are a predator. A snake.

You are now vermin in my eyes.
Go die by Shieldtox.

I live by stoicism.

2009-03-25T21:55:00.002+08:00

Alright. For those of you who are disorientated with the ins and outs of Matt J Fam lately, you haven't missed much. Just a hell of an anxiety roller coaster which hasn't quite ended yet, but I will say that things have a relatively good chance of turning out fine.

Scorpio's intuition.
That and my lovely flat feet which helped me in ways I never thought they could before.
No. Stop thinking dirty if any of you warped minds are doing so- it is not anything to do with that.

Other than that, prospects seem promising. Think mist rising ala Dickens' "Great Expectations". Hope and the unknown.
These two must go hand in hand.

Thank you family, friends, loved ones and Cowboy for all the love, support and prayers these past few days. I really needed it (and still do for tomorrow!).

I love you Mom, Amadea and Cowboy.
You three were the superheros of the day. No wait, you're always my superheros :)

2009-03-23T20:10:00.002+08:00

Would any of you say that high trauma is almost the same as emotional numbness?
It's pseudo-serenity.

Zen like the blacks and whites swirling together.
A blot of ink on paper white.
Ribbing through, it is a pebble in a pond.

I am a Lily, mind splitting like its petals

2009-03-20T21:21:00.002+08:00

Hello world. I am content because I'm allowed to return home each evening for the next one and three-quarter years. That will be the good news of the day.

That and the classification of the wound on my face as an abrasion by my dermatologist.
Only an abrasion. Thank God.

Yeeks, on another note, I haven't written a poem in ages.
Inspiration is like the temperamental weather.

In other words, to put it colloquially, it is a menstruating bitch.
Woof woof.

2009-03-20T11:30:00.000+08:00

Aloes and vitamin e oils.

Necessary Evils

2009-03-15T17:04:00.001+08:00

I find the churning of personal statements and essays about one's self made for the sake of university application mildly narcissistic.

It is a necessary evil though- to be a pompous I'm-better-than-any-other-applicant-because...

I mean, would we all rather be pompous sounding for once, or be deprived of a place in the university of our liking?

Necessary evils, people. These cannot be avoided.

2009-03-14T09:50:00.004+08:00

Am I the only fool who's excited about the opening of the Circle Line?? Or just one section of it that is. I can finally visit Yixin and Martin at Lorong Chuan without having to go through all those troublesome interchanges!

Well to begin with, I haven't even been to their places in a long while. The tedious travelling was what repelled me from the very idea anyway.

Alright so... I guess I'll be going to NUS open house later?
Anybody coming along as well?

2009-03-13T09:27:00.002+08:00

Cabaret sluts and the incessant need to develop an independent voice.

Clothes. Music. Art. Theatre.
Wow, I'm getting so giddy.

And not forgetting vanity. Ah yes.

Here's a lil 'I love you' to all my friends and loved ones out there!

Choices

2009-03-11T22:00:00.003+08:00

Versace underwear.
Body shop body butter.
Cool tees.
Some Cds and a DS game.

Choices choices choices...

Origamis

2009-02-21T16:47:00.002+08:00

If I had a third hand, I could already count the number of days left on that crazy island.

Hurrah, can't you tell that I'm already rejoicing?

So yes.
As of now, my life seems to be on a pause mode of a cassette tape.
When I finally leave that place for good, I resume my life.
Back on play mode, where the colourful images and the music resume.

In the meantime, I'll take each weekend as they come till march rolls by. Every weekend feels like a Sabbath day, Saturdays included.

The birds sing more sweetly for you, and the people on the street seem to walk with an invisible spring in their step. Though not all of us are quite the hyperactive bunch, every senior citizen would be an ironman marathon runner in your state of delirium.

...What am I talking about.

To Cowboy,
thanks for yet another stupendous weekend!
Origami and movies next week? I promise (:

Frank

2009-02-20T16:23:00.001+08:00

I just got Amy Winehouse's first album which has a much more laidback, lounge music sound to it compared to her darker 'Back to Black'.

18 Days more!!!

day 19

2009-02-15T17:29:00.002+08:00

Today is Day 19.
And another 23 more to go.

2009-02-13T21:03:00.000+08:00

Today was indescribably brilliant.

Bao

Dodo

2009-02-13T20:48:00.002+08:00

A retarded dodo bird.
An agnostic extremist with large, ugly ears and a relatively ugly face and frame.
Another cocky bastard.
Sprinkled with generous portions of insanity.

I have new found respect for the contestants on Survivor.

Rihanna getting bashed up.

Leaving

2009-01-28T11:12:00.002+08:00

I'll be flying away!

And I'll be back in 2 weeks time! Miss me!

All my bags are packed

I'm ready to go

I'm standin here outside your door

I hate to wake you up to say goodbye

But the dawn is breakin'

Its early morn'

The taxis waitin'

He's blowin' his horn

Already Im so lonesome

I could die

So kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you'll wait for me

Hold me like you'll never let me go cause

Im leavin' on a jet plane

Don't know when Ill be back again

Oh babe, I hate to go

SADDAD

2009-01-27T01:14:00.000+08:00

IMBALANCED ME!!!!

Soon!

2009-01-24T18:33:00.002+08:00

I'm going in real soon! I'm excited! Nervous! Everything!

Crazy

2009-01-23T21:27:00.002+08:00

I've been reading this book titled 'Veronika Decides To Die'

Be mad, or so I've learnt from the book. Doing things slightly crazy every now and then. Break the monotony that many fall within. And you'll feel more satisfied.

I did something 'crazy' today which I normally wouldn't do. It made me happier.
And I will do something 'crazy' yet again tomorrow.

Faith

2009-01-22T22:37:00.003+08:00

I was told by friends not to say it.
And you were told by your friends not to say it.

But we followed our hearts and instincts and did it anyhow.

Because of this, there is a future possibility.

It is good to have faith.
In time, love.

I don't care what they say

I'm in love with you

They try to pull me away

But they don't know the truth

Back to black

2009-01-21T23:30:00.003+08:00

It feels like a prenuptial agreement meeting in action.
Ho hum.

On the other hand, these last 6 days are like fast forward for me. Too many things to accomplish, and I can't go in without any unfinished business.

Gee, why do I make it sound like I'm going to die?

We only said good-bye with words

I died a hundred times

You go back to her

And I go back to black

act 5

2009-01-21T08:45:00.003+08:00

Is it even possible to feel a stupendously enormous spectrum of emotions towards a single person?

I guess so.

I'm not depressed or anything but why must my life contain so much freaking drama?
Act Five of a Shakespearean tragedy that keeps on replaying.

Pes C BMT

2009-01-20T17:20:00.002+08:00

Hope for the best, expect the worst.

Well, this is my final week before I get shipped off to the colonies for good ol' BMT.
What I'm most afraid of is Pes C BMT being more strenuous than expected from your typical 'Oh Pes C BMT is such a cakewalk' kind of thing.
Complacency could kill you. But so can pessimism.
So I might as well remain apathetic about things.

Not as if I don't have enough apathy swirling in my brain.
Too much apathy to the point that it makes almost everyday over the past week seem the same.

Don't worry, I certainly won't do anything crazy or inappropriate such as shooting myself with a rifle.

Grim fandango

2009-01-19T18:19:00.003+08:00

-Night time. Manny runs to the top of the lighthouse balcony. He sees Lola injured by a shot of deadly sproutella. She is fast being ravaged by the blooming daisies on her bones-

Manny: Lola?

Lola: Careful Manny, you may not want to see me like this.

Manny: Lola, did Nick do this to you?

Lola: Yeah. He wanted that picture real bad, but he's never going to find it, that fink.

Manny: I'll get him Lola. I'll show Max that picture for you and fix Nick for good, Just tell me where you hid it.

Lola: Oh Manny. It's all my fault, always falling for the wrong guys. You know, I even had a thing for you once... But you were so hung up on that Meche woman I figured I didn't have chance.

Manny: Lola, where's the picture?

Lola: Tell me Manny, would I have had a chance? (Manny looks away)...Never mind. Just warn Oliva for me. Tell her to improve her taste in men. Or she'll end up just like me. Tell her to get a nice guy Manny, like you...

-Flowers ravage Lola till she is reduced to nothing but a spray of daisies-

Manny: Lola! Lola!!...

2009-01-18T16:54:00.000+08:00

I wish I had a heart of glass

Fun day!

2009-01-16T19:07:00.000+08:00

It's gonna be a fun day tomorrow!

Amy Amy Amy

2009-01-15T20:08:00.003+08:00

I know I'll be able to get by. I just know it.
Hey, if this is the point of no return, I know I'll survive.
And no, I am not thinking of the song 'I Will Survive' because that's really just ridiculous
since I'm not angry at all.

Instead of type type type, I was tie tie tie.

Tie dyeing and Amy Winehouse. That was my day.
I love you Amy.
I swear I will buy your third album

Dream

2009-01-15T09:19:00.006+08:00

I've had one too many weird, strange dreams this past few days.

Come to think about it, this whole thing feels like waking up from some bittersweet dream of my own.

If we shadows have offended,

Think but this, and all is mended,

That you have but slumber'd here

While these visions did appear.

And this weak and idle theme,

No more yielding but a dream,

Someday I will Understand

2009-01-14T09:40:00.003+08:00

Greyscale can be painful, but I know that someday I will understand.

Nothing seems to be the way it used to

Everything seems shallow

God give me truth

In me and tell me

Somebody's watching over me

And that is all I'm praying

Is that...

Someday I will understand

In God's whole plan

And what he's done to me

Oh but maybe

Someday I will breathe

And I'll finally see

I'll see it all in me

Oldies

2009-01-13T14:49:00.007+08:00

Oldies.
You'd think they would make you feel better.
What am I talking about. They always do.

Now what's this about listening to dead people on old records, Matt?
There shall be no sad faces in this house, and that includes you.

You might as well celebrate.

I'm young and I love to be young

I'm free and I love to be free

To live my life the way I want

To say and do whatever I please

Trains

2009-01-13T12:11:00.002+08:00

I realize a certain pattern: I get bad dreams whenever the covers slip off. When I wake up from those dreams, I find myself without any covers and left out in the cold. Not that I sleep in the nude of course, but yes, it's better to be under the covers to ensure higher chances of getting better dreams.

Undercover.

Speaking of dreams, I had a bad one last night.
Something to do with trains in England.
Zooming up escalators which sprouted from the basement of the train platform. The kinds like Dhoby Gauht and City Hall Interchange.
Chasing someone, with that person getting onto a train to Worcester (I kid you not, I remember that name clearly)

And as the person ran into that train, I tripped and fell.
And the train left.

Strange thing was that the person was naked.

Weird dreams really puzzle me!

Up, up and away

2009-01-12T19:12:00.002+08:00

Things will only be going up from here.
Think hot air balloons and helium.

I will not look down when I'm up in the sky and think 'oh how sad' or 'oh if only'.
When you've got your magic shoes, tap em and everything will be alright.
Hey nonny nonny.
Nobody's dying. Nobody's leaving when they're just a phone call or a magic letter away.
Up, up and away...

Windy weather

2009-01-12T15:19:00.003+08:00

The 2008 GCE O Level results are released today, and pretty soon it'll be our turn to receive our results too! Yikes!

Hyperventilate. A wheeze and a brief moment of panic.

I'm pretty convinced that it'll be out in late February though, so I guess I'll be heading back to school with by baldie hairdo. Buzz cut. I never liked the sound of botak or baldie. Makes you feel like you've been sentenced to a lifetime in the monastery. Either that or you're undergoing chemotherapy.

Well, get messed up results and you might as well go for it.

Right. No more mentioning of such potentially frightening news. Shoo-shoo.
(I was talking about the results, not chemotherapy by the way. Even though chemotherapy is arguably even more frightening)

So... Another brilliant day we're having. The weather in December and January is always nice because of all the cool wind and breeze, which makes it feel like Sydney in Spring or Europe for that matter. Later on in the year and it'll be back to our Jungle Hell of grass browning heat and even more grass browning heat.

So don't complain if you find it getting too cold for your liking sometimes in the evenings these days. Just close your eyes and pretend you're on some Winter European vacation or something. Alternatively, continue grumbling till the sickening Singaporean weather returns, and THEN you'd be wishing for more breeze.

I've always loved windy weather since young.
In fact, I wouldn't mind a non-destructive hurricane sweep by every now and then. But that doesn't make sense, doesn't it? All hurricanes are destructive.
Never mind.

Happy Birthday Debbie!

2009-01-10T10:25:00.004+08:00

A bowl of oatmeal in the morning, and now I've finished cutting a star on a corrugated plastic board. Valentine's day 2008, much? I refuse to use the term 'friendship day' instead because it just spoils the whole speciality of it all. But hey, I remember being the guy who received the most flowers in school that day. Apparently.

So much so that while I was walking with my drama friends, these other J1s approached me and thought that I was the deliverer of the flowers instead. Lol.

The star's for Debbie's birthday anyhow. Jasvir predicts an overflowing excess of food for the picnic. Well, at least that saves me the effort to cook or bake something- real sorry about that! By the time I came home from the open house and dinner with the drama mates, it was already close to 11! And Gabby wants me to meet her at 12.30 too, so there really isn't any time.

Watching Grease the musical later tonight.

I hope nothing too serious would be discussed before that.
And before I end this blog post, I'd just like to say... Happy Birthday Debbie!

Board games

2009-01-08T14:15:00.003+08:00

Okay so here I am once again in front of the computer screen, which has become my new best friend ever since like a month and a half ago. And no, in case you're wondering, I'll not be watching Star Wars episode 5 on youtube since the computer speakers are screwing up.

I keep procrastinating to get my hair trimmed though... I know what you're thinking- that all of it will be shaved off to a buzz cut later this month anyhow, so what's the point. But hey, at least let this boy exercise some form of autonomy right now. While he still can. I keep telling myself that 7 weeks of Pes C BMT is even shorter than a school term, so just get it over and done with.

In the meantime, I've been itching to play a game of Cluedo with a couple of friends. Or any board game for that matter.

2009-01-06T18:30:00.001+08:00

I spent my time watching Star Wars Ep 4 on youtube, and read about one-fifth of this new book I bought today just to get my mind away from certain things.

Sometimes I let my emotions get the better of me, and I'm so so sorry Cowboy!

Fall from grace

2009-01-06T15:42:00.002+08:00

The fall from grace is a long way down.

You have no saftey net that
you knew you once had to catch you.
And when you fall from that tightrope
way up high in the sky
All you feel is horror. Anguish. Immense sadness
Along with that awkward elevator Muzac playing in your head.
Music. Whatever.

You don't have time to debate on grammer
when you're falling downwards at the speed of light.

Womanizer

2009-01-06T09:52:00.007+08:00

I've been trying to get the censored video, and here is the best I could get.
Womanizer!!

And I dedicate this song to all the clique bitches!

Whenever I watch the 'Womanizer hand grab' at the office scene in the music video, I always think of Sam's incident at St. James' HAHAHAHA

Daddy O

You got the swagger of a champion

Too bad for you

Just can't find the right companion

I guess when you have one too many, makes it hard

It could be easy

Who you are, that's just who you are, baby...

2009-01-04T21:44:00.001+08:00

I think I would have the potential to be a brilliant hermit.

So I can feel no pain.

Love is a losing game

2009-01-04T12:34:00.004+08:00

'Love Is A Losing Game' by Amy Winehouse

In 2008, final year English Literature students at Cambridge
University were asked to analyse lyrics to this song, as well as lyrics by Sir
Walter Raleigh, Bob Dylan and Billie Holiday, as part of their end of year
examinations in 'Practical Criticism'

For you I was a flame
Love is a losing game
Five story fire as you came
Love is a losing game

Why do I wish I never played
Oh, what a mess we made
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game

Played out by the band
Love is a losing hand
More than I could stand
Love is a losing hand

Self professed profound
Till the chips were down
Know you’re a gambling man
Love is a losing hand

Though I'm rather blind
Love is a fate resigned
Memories mar my mind
Love is a fate resigned

Over futile odds
And laughed at by the Gods
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game

Zoom

2009-01-03T12:32:00.002+08:00

I would like to do several things with my time this year.
Go for auditions, sing in church, and probably volunteer my time as a storyteller in the children's section of the library.

On top of that, I would like to be a superhero with powers of invisibility and electrical laser beam eyes. As such, I could wear weird-assed costumes and fight evil villains who aim for world domination and absolute havoc in the world. I could also just fry you with my laser beam eyes if I didn't like you. No wait... then that would make me a villain.

Ah heck it. And haven't I mentioned this before?

I wanna write a poem!!

2009!

2009-01-01T22:13:00.003+08:00

Happy New Year everyone!!
This blog has been collecting dust, mould and what not (Yes, I acknowledge your tag board comments- thanks alot SAM AND COLIN)

Anyhow... you guys needn't be bored to tears because I won't make this post another reflective, soppy, sentimental piece of writing regarding my experiences over the past year, and on how I feel inspired to improve and be a better person/artist/performer/friend/son/whatever for 2009. Yada yada.

It's surreal that it's 2009 this soon.
Then again, everything new seems surreal to me to the point where I think I'm hallucinating.
New Years' Resolution #1: Stop hallucinating.

But nevertheless, it has been an interesting year (Oh believe me) and I look forward to more opportunities and adventures so to speak for the coming year ahead -insert smiley face-

First off, I'm considering heading to the CJ open house as a secondary school student to visit my drama mates. If I make it to MDC, I may be able to come back and give workshops to cj drama! There's just so much which I feel like I can give back and contribute, so I hope that this is one of the ways which I could do so. Which reminds me... I still need to head back to my sec school to collect my O level cert. Yeah, I realise that it has been long overdue. Shame on me.

Yes, and I'm making the best use of my time now before I enlist on Jan 28, so if you guys have any suggestions or cool places to head to, drop a msg on the tag board!

Hurrah!

2008-11-24T20:59:00.002+08:00

I was initially apathetic about my p4 performance.
But I suppose the things I wrote eventually did make relative sense to me as I was recollecting them on my way home.

Well, the last time I felt this way about a lit paper, I did pretty well.
So I'm hoping it's a good omen?? The aftertaste of apathy yielded positive results for me before; I'm really hoping for good things.

It's finally OVER!! I can sleep well; my eye bags will disappear.

Hee

2008-11-23T17:32:00.002+08:00

To achieve a unity of effect, we would have to produce exemplary results on all three essays for tomorrow's Lit P4.

We must write freaking well.

We must write so good an essay, that it would send Poe's corpse into violent fits of convulsion within his grave.
Bless your soul Poe, I still think you're a freak.

Tooth extraction

2008-11-22T10:06:00.004+08:00

My fourth day being 18 and it's very surreal.
A big thanks to everyone who planned stuff for me over the past couple of days- I had a great time and appreciate all that you've done.

I will continue this post later, but as of now, I want the nightmare of the A's to end- studying can feel like forced tooth extraction

18

2008-11-22T10:02:00.003+08:00

I'm 18 and I think it's surreal.
But I had a really good time with all the surprises and outings planned by friends

New poems!

2008-11-14T21:08:00.002+08:00

I've just uploaded 2 of the poems which I've written over the past few days, titled 'Shanghai Takeaway' and 'Archeology' on my deviantart website.

(Well, I did write more than just those 2 of course. But a number of them are either in their preliminary stages of drafting, or just downright ridiculous)

www.mattjfam.deviantart.com

Damage Control

2008-11-14T16:40:00.002+08:00

Yes it is I who has returned from the abyss of near insanity. Now that the A's are alomst done for me (my last paper's on the 24th, so I'm on a mini holiday/ Lit P4 cramming period till then), I have been calculating the damage done thus far:

- Countless Starbucks lattes and coffees (not to mention that horridly oversweetened one from Coffee Bean)
- Hundreds of grams gained. I don't think I've expanded past 1.5 kg though.. BUT STILL...
- A partially dissolved cranium
- Mark and Matilda: my eyebags. Though they've more or less left since this week.

I miss finding the time lazing about while writing my poetry- glad that I finally found loads of time today doing that. In fact, I think today was completely lazed off.
Note to Matt: Do some studying tonight

Chernobyl on my mind.

2008-11-02T20:52:00.002+08:00

It's finally here!

Chernobyl on my mind as I stare silently at the computer screen.

Kaboom and all that frenzy.

Printing woes

2008-10-23T09:43:00.002+08:00

Approaching its 560th post, this blog has come of age.
And well, so have I.

Not too long ago, here I was ranting about how I managed to get dismal straight F9s for 4 of my maths/science subjects in sec 3.
And right now, although I do not suffer such a fatal fate of F's sputtered on my report card, I'm just sitting here being worried for the A's as I wait for that dude in the school library's computer room to be done with the printer.

What the fuck is he printing that is taking so long?!?!

I must get at least 3 A's. If I don't, sheesh.

Graduation

2008-10-12T09:41:00.003+08:00

Graduation day was like the stop to a carnival ride you never really did want to end, no matter how stressed and scared you were.

We had the time of our lives

We had a ball of a time- we've flown the coop!

And well... It all feels really bittersweet

guts

2008-10-07T19:59:00.002+08:00

A pound of flesh was demanded in Shakespeare's 'The Merchant of Venice'.
But sometimes, another two pounds extra isn't even enough.
So do you suggest I spill my guts?

Ulna and radius

2008-10-04T23:19:00.003+08:00

A fresh green split in a bone of a fractured arm.

The Ulna and the Radius.

We thought we could travel seamlessly like the lining of our shins; the linear length of the spine.

But like the falling petals of saw dusted Angsana

The term 'collectivism' ceased to exist.

Cinderella

2008-10-04T17:57:00.002+08:00

A poem by Sylvia Plath

Cinderella

The prince leans to the girl in scarlet heels,
Her green eyes slant, hair flaring in a fan
Of silver as the rondo slows; now reels
Begin on tilted violins to span

The whole revolving tall glass palace hall
Where guests slide gliding into light like wine;
Rose candles flicker on the lilac wall
Reflecting in a million flagons' shine,

And glided couples all in whirling trance
Follow holiday revel begun long since,
Until near twelve the strange girl all at once
Guilt-stricken halts, pales, clings to the prince

As amid the hectic music and cocktail talk
She hears the caustic ticking of the clock.

Tick tock tick tock...

eCONS essay

2008-10-03T21:10:00.002+08:00

It's funny how easily perturbed I can be at times.

Perfect example-
I was in the library doing Econs essay practice this afternoon (the 25 mark essay) and after completing just about half of it, I turned over to the suggested answer to see how well I was doing so far.
Well, judging from what I saw, I suppose I could've passed the essay moderately... but it was far from the complete answer which the schema had!!

Obviously I was demoralised.

So I decided to do another 25 mark essay.

Same thing.

Yeah. Really. Really. Ridiculous.
Next time, I'll ban myself from looking at the answer scheme before completing my essay practices to prevent me from being discouraged.

Grr

2008-10-01T16:26:00.002+08:00

It sucks when you find it so hard to hit the books. (Well, yesterday wasn't like that)
Today has been very unproductive
So tired. So dead.

Lifeline

2008-09-25T20:20:00.002+08:00

We've got less than 6 weeks to the A's!

Getting past the prelims feels like passing the final bastion before stepping onto the battlefield.
We're no longer shielded by the gates and walls of castles. No more school-based exams. No more shielding but the armour on our backs.

It kinda feels like those quiz game shows where you're left without any lifelines.
And you're fighting to get to the next question.
And the studio lights glare, while the host displays nothing more than a poker face.
There's no answers. All that's left for reliance lies within those little gray cells.

Your hands feel clammy and sweaty. Cold as salmon on a slate.

We have no more lifelines.
That's how nerve wrecking it is.

Balloons and candy; cupcakes

2008-09-23T11:17:00.003+08:00

Whoever knew that you could win $100 writing a poem which is essentially about girls fighting in a bar. A highly angry and personal poem in my opinion.

Anyway, I got the bulk of my results already. Apart from Econs, I suppose I did okay. Not bad. Not anything good which deserves commendation. Just... well, okay. How else could you put it??

Above Average but not good enough.
Inadequately satisfactory (by my standards), with a tinge of satisfaction and improvement.
I would liken it to a scrumptious cupcake with an ingredient or two botched up.
A semi-dysfunctional cupcake, but still an edible and enjoyable cupcake nonetheless.

During lit tutorial, Mdm D said that my writing style tends to be frenzied. It makes me feel like I'm semi-bipolar.

Quick, somebody shoot me with a tranquilizer.

It's so scary how it's all gonna end soon.
Like a roller coaster ride which you don't want to get off. Then again, too many roller coaster rides make you sick in the gut, and sometime sooner or later, you'd have to get off and move on to the next carnival ride.

Balloons and cotton candy. I'm starting to miss those.
That's what I'd like to enjoy.

Stench

2008-09-22T21:51:00.002+08:00

I've been watching time lapse videos of vegetables and fruits rotting for the past 5 minutes on youtube, which I find mildly spastic. Remember how we used to do the bread mould experiment in primary school? Yeah, I miss those.

I know how decomposition smells like. It's very, very bad.
I've smelt ham gone bad when the fridge broke down (Ooh, that one was icky)
And I've also smelt rancid curry, which smells and looks like diarrhoea.

I've never smelt how stinky a Rafflesia flower is though.
Neither do I know how bad a rotting human corpse smells like.
I do not intend to find out how it smells like though, thank you very much.

Ibiza

2008-09-20T14:38:00.002+08:00

This feels like blowing dust off the cover of a hardcover book.

Strangely enough, no matter how long I may be absent from blogging, the posts still seem to be streaming in a continuous prose. Or in continuous chunks of prose, rather.
The spaces in between periods of absence are like secrets kept from readers- concealing the events of my life. A private ceremony on some beach of a Mediterranean island

Time's a string of beaded rhinestones, glittering in the Sun.

Just as how much I'd like to share stories with you; hang round your neck a garland of frangipanis or shells. A Hawaiian welcome.
Why do we blog? Because we want to share stories. To resurface from all that clutter and stress of life.
Shades of days and weeks can choke one like a discus thrown in sea. I'd appreciate a branch of palm leaves to hold onto sometimes and soak in the salty breeze, or lay baking on the sand.

I'm flying to Ibiza in my mind.

2008-09-01T08:48:00.002+08:00

Brave New World on Friday.
Poe's Murders in the Rue Morgue on Saturday.
Poe's Fall of the House of Usher yesterday.

After all that, I seriously need to study a different subject today (despite me being a total nervous wreck for this friday's paper!)

Uhm.... Let's do... Human geog.
Crap, there's just quite a lot to be done.

argh

2008-08-25T20:02:00.002+08:00

I hate how blogger screwed up with my previous two attempts to write about the London-like weather we were having.

And now I'll I'm left is with this really lame one instead.
Argh.

London Showers

2008-08-24T20:56:00.001+08:00

In this London-like weather of cold summer showers, I think about how we are at the final bastion before the battlefield of hell.

Ping pong

2008-08-22T20:33:00.002+08:00

It must be boring being an umpire
I'm considering stargazing with the little telescope I found in a cupboard.
Matthew is pondering on the joys of boredom
There is none

Watching China vs China on an Olympic table tennis finals is way boring.
It's like mirror images of two ping pong robots battling it out-
there is no glory, there is no thrill.
Just an insert of a game of ping pong
from the hard drive of one's will

Scavenger hunt

2008-08-22T16:23:00.002+08:00

I was in a reading mood today.
So I read.

I'm feeling bored.
Somebody give me an all expenses paid scavenger hunt around the world with Cowboy, ending in the very heart which is home itself.

die

2008-08-20T21:52:00.001+08:00

Flutter flutter
pretty butterfly
I want to swat you till you die

Scary

2008-08-19T22:20:00.003+08:00

I better get my geog essay done by tomorrow morning or I'll be in trouble.
Oooo... Scary, eh?

Cheese break

2008-08-17T22:22:00.002+08:00

Matt's gunning for his second lit essay in the same night! Not that I want to, but hey, nobody likes to get detention right?

No wait. I deserve to sleep before midnight.
You know what? I'm just gonna do that essay tomorrow. Screw it. Really.

I told him to take a cheese-break

2008-08-17T00:28:00.002+08:00

Oh
so
you
think
I
don't
bother
bout
the
little
things
eh?

2008-08-16T15:09:00.007+08:00

I want much more than this provincial life!
I want adventure in the great wide somewhere
I want it more than I can tell

That of being bonded to books, assignments and preparation for the A levels that is.
And as you might already know by now, I'm not like one of those self-programmed study robots. That's just not how I function- rather unfortunately so in the case of this context.

Sometimes I do wonder if I'm ever able to achieve success in the arts scene. Fine, it's a given that you cant expect instant success now, but I'm curious to know how things play out.
I've been told that you'd be a straving artist should you pursue any form of art locally.
But heck it. You only live once.

On a side note, I'm kinda annoyed that Phelps beat that dude representing Serbia by just a hundreth of a second in the Olympics 100m Butterfly finals. We do get sick of frontrunners all the time (or at least I do) so bring out the underdogs.

Yay

2008-08-15T22:37:00.001+08:00

We're actually finally gonna get an Olympic medal. It's extremely surreal.
But well done anyhow!

I want to know what real love is

2008-08-14T23:21:00.004+08:00

I realise I haven't said 'I love you' to my mom in quite a while.
Then again, those 3 words seem to be losing significance to me lately.
Maybe usage of these words should be regulated and have a limiting quota set upon- like coupons which you tear out to give to somebody else. And you go like, hey, this is an action- a part of me to you. I love you.

I'm thinking parking coupons here. The ones with many circular cutouts for you to punch and tear. Instead of circles, the coupons in my head are filled with heart shaped cutouts.

This way, things would be much better. We wouldn't just use those words randomly, or as a mere tool of pacification to make another feel so fulfilled and satisfied. Even in literature, the word 'love' gets encountered so many times that I occasionally feel like my heart no longer pumps warm blood. That in itself is of course an exaggeration- you and I both know it.

But I want to know what real love is.
Unquestioning self humiliation as the perverse would say. Or like soft wads of cotton slipped in a flannelette baby blanket, according to the tactile enthusiast.
I want to know what it means to say those words.
Not the cheaply mass produced, 'Made-in-China' kinds which we see littered about today.

To say is not to feel, and although this is elementary even to a talking cucumber, we sometimes tend to forget...

"I'll tell you," said she, in the same hurried passionate whisper,
"what real love is. It is blind devotion, utter submission, trust and belief
against yourself and against the whole world, giving up your whole heart and
soul to the smiter- as I did!"

2008-08-13T22:26:00.002+08:00

Things I might want to get-
An Ipod earphone
An Ipod cover to replace my current one, which looks like an XXXS sized dirty underwear.

Omg

2008-08-12T17:11:00.003+08:00

I can't afford to screw up my prelims and A's. If my periods of study were to be charted on a graph, I reckon it would be somewhat like an extremely irregular and immensely compressed sine curve- considering how I study in short "bursts" of 10-15 mins, after which taking a break for an even longer period of time. Yep... In case you're wondering, my studies are like shit.

I hate the aspect of my life by which I'm worrying about my studies, my future, and yet not being able to sit down for a prolonged period of time to study. Maybe I should do group studying more often.

Arrghhh!! Matt you incompetent shit- get your act together! Seriously!

Oh. On a side and brighter note, I've enjoyed watching the Olympics here and there today. Female weightlifting is kinda scary, but yet extremely interesting at the same time- I start to play games with myself in spotting the most feminine and masculine of the contestants. There was one from Chinese Taipei was looked majorly boyish- and that's very disturbing, mind you. I mean, it's no problem having thick arms and being womanly at the same time like that Cuban lady (Something Vega)- you'd just look like an Amazon. But gender benders are generally intruiging.

And you have to admit the war cry when lifting those bars certainly adds the oomph to the entire showmanship haha. Or show-womanship, rather.

Sheesh

2008-08-12T13:06:00.001+08:00

A dabble in Ligeia. Some micro climates. And a chapter of Great Expectations (7 chapters more- you can do it, Matt!)

Sheesh. But yes, I feel so incompetent in my studies.
Help. Really.

smiles

2008-08-10T12:00:00.002+08:00

My headache is gone! Well, yeah- of course it is. It should be gone. If it isn't gone by today, I'd be worried.

I've got lots of catching up to do. Studies. School admin stuff.
Crap.
But I'm all smiles (not all, but yeah you get the drift)

ARGH

2008-08-09T22:39:00.002+08:00

Here I am for some God forsaken reason, listening to religious music. And I know (and you guys know) that it's really not like me to be doing so. I have a horrendous headache now and I'm in an extremely irritable mood. Noise annoys me.

Yeah. I'm also thinking what an insecure, poor body imaged, emotional wreck of a trashbag sometimes. It's times like these where I should let a brain eating monster suck my brains out, sign myself up in the religious order, vow myself to a life of celebacy and then hang myself in the monastary.

Gosh! This headache is FREAKING KILLING ME.
ARRRRGHHH!!!! DAMMIT

hurry

2008-08-04T20:08:00.002+08:00

I am currently scrambling to get class/group photos so I could send it to the Student's Council by tonight for the Prom Night video montage. Well, it's tough work, considering how response from my classmates has been rather weak. And if any of you T1-ers are reading this, get going and start sending me those pics now, unless you don't want our class to be featured in the montage! And that would be really horrible I think.

Alright! I was supposed to get started on Poe's Ulalume this evening, not to mention my geog work... but well well well, what am I doing? Still waiting for the photos to be submitted- hurry up!!!

Ponyboy

2008-08-03T22:50:00.002+08:00

First of all, I'd like to say that mother nature's been a complete bitch these past few days, cursing us with horrifically warm weather. But who could blame her right? All of that greenhouse gas choking her up must have made her cranky.

Anyway, I was watching half of The Outsiders on youtube this evening. Unfortunately, I had to restrict myself from watching any further as my geog essay, which was already due on Friday was calling out for me. Dammit. I never seem to be fully on top of my studies. Snowballing revision and assignments are public enemy #1, or enemies of mine at least.

I need an alcoholic drink soon. Like really. A wine, a beer- anything (not before a school day of course)

Grraaagghh.. And there's GP comprehension mock exam tomorrow afternoon! Sheesh. I hope I don't make a complete fool of myself for it. You know how you get back your compre scripts, and go something like- Oh God, how the hell did I end up writing so fucking incoherently...
Yes, if you've ever felt like that, welcome to the club.

SO... on that note, I retreat awaiting the hustle and bustle which the new week brings.

"Stay gold, Ponyboy, stay gold..."